💞Earn Respect in Your Relationships💞

Collage by Farah McCard

Emotional abuse and mind games can be unbearable for a woman or a man in any relationship. However, it is never too late to make up for years of irresponsible behavior; controlling issues, belittling, disrespect, flirting with the opposite sex, mind games and the emotional damage in your relationship. The following tip list is based on my life, experiencing all-of-the-above feelings when living with my porn addict spouse.

💖Love💖 is tenderness, compassion, forgiveness, and thoughtfulness. If you genuinely love your spouse and want to make things right, try some of my following thoughts:

• The first step is to recognize and admit your past behavior. The person who admits his or her wrong is in a good position to make things right. To say that you are “sorry” is meaningless, if you keep repeating the same behavior, creating arguments.
• Get ready to have a mountain of patience and tolerance, to ease some of the past triggers. It is not that simple to get rid of years of negativity planted in your spouse’s head, as a result of your bad behavior, and expect to get things resolved in a short time.
• Get your anger under control. Don’t let small disagreements escalate into an angry fight.
• Don’t assume the worst, or read between the lines. It is often what we assume that causes unnecessary fights.
• Disagreements don’t mean it is the end of the world. Don’t react as harshly as you did in the past years, fueling fights. We each have different personalities, and may not agree on every subject.
• Don’t put your spouse down, disrespect or slam each other’s ideas, especially in the presence of your child.
• You don’t have to compete with each other on anything, especially for the affection of your children.
• Be genuinely kind to each other. Don’t be kind one day, and take it all back the next day.
• Support each other emotionally, and unconditionally. If your spouse speaks up about an issue, don’t leave her/his hanging; get involved by saying supporting words. In my opinion, most women react in a more rational manner than most men, who rather get physical over issues.
• Learn what she or he likes to do, when together. Show interest, and participate genuinely, in each other’s activities and hobbies.
• Give each other credit, and recognize each other’s good ideas and accomplishments over the years, instead of making them your own.
• Put your pride aside, and forget your dysfunctional upbringing and backward beliefs. It does not make you less of a man to listen to your woman’s good suggestions.
• Think of change as necessary improvements in our daily life. We expect our technology to improve, we should expect the same from ourselves. I repeatedly read in various publications, it is in men’s DNA to be resistant to change or improvements. It is absolutely a bogus belief in such an advanced era!
• Don’t give each other grief or twist one another’s words, for your own flaws, lack of care and “no can do” attitude.
• Care about one another genuinely, as you care about yourself. It means matching kind words with good actions to make them believable.
• There is a limit to playing a smart mouth. In my opinion, mostly men at their spouse’s expense joke for the “wow effect.” It is Not funny unless you are a comedian.
• Be sensitive to your spouse’s needs, as you expect the same from your spouse.
• Be true to each other, and understand one another’s feelings. Communication is the key to a richer relationship.
• Hear her out as you would like to be heard. Men can be good listeners, too.
• Share the chores around the house, without constantly being reminded or asked. This alone will take pressure off your relationship, and you both have more reasons to respect and appreciate each other.

Each spouse is responsible for the consequences of his or her actions, which ultimately supersede empty words and promises.

Copyright© 2015 Library of Congress by Farah McCard

➡️Relationship is a chapter from my 2015 health e-book: Retraining Beautiful Mind a Free download on iTunes🙏